Insight

This whole COVID-19 situation has finally pushed me to start up on blogging again. I say again because I created my blog over four years ago, and I was yet to post anything meaningful here. Not because I do not have a ton of things to blog or vlog about, but because my life has been one huge roller coaster to this point.
Well, today is the day I decided I did not want to push it off anymore. With an entire pandemic looming around, I figured why not spend all this extra time sharing my life and thoughts with strangers online.

Although I do not consider myself to be a top-notch writer, I still love bringing the images in my head to life. It all begun when my English teacher praised my writing skills. I remember him telling me how my imagination and creativity were impressive for someone my age. This was after I wrote the most thrilling detailed essay for his English class. If my memory serves me right, we were to write an essay on “The day I will never forget”. I was only 12, yet his words haven’t left me to this day. My essay was not shy of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes, yet I managed to score one of the highest marks in class. As he handed back my paper, I recall him saying “Good job!” He looked at me with admiration, he was proud of me. Needless to say, it was one of my proudest moments in middle school, being that I did not shine much in any other area. And no teachers had ever acknowledged or even tried to understand my perspective on how I learned and understood things.

I did not peak academically until my sophomore year. This was a result a traumatic family experience. It was at that point that I realized I had to grow up. My childhood had ended at fifteen, I became a totally different person. I became more responsible and less problematic.

It was not due to the lack of trying on my part. I was a slower learner in some subjects (mathematics, geography, and social studies), which in turn lowered my final grade significantly. My best subjects have always been Biology, History, Religious studies, and English. I thrived in them, compared to the others. I did pretty well in religious studies, not to say I cared for it, not at all. I did not enjoy reading the entire gospels. However, having been raised in a Christian household where church attendance was mandatory, I had an added advantage of learning it both at home, church, and school. Biology, on the contrary always fascinated me, still does. Especially the human body. I am torn between rating History, Biology, and English. I loved learning about the World Wars, the Industrial Revolution, the Transatlantic Slave trade, just as much as I was fascinated with learning on Anatomy, and Physiology, as well as literature from around the world.

I have always been very competitive and an overachiever. So, not being able to get good grades was a bummer to my self-esteem, especially being that my crush back then was one of the smartest boys in the class. He would always let me copy off of his work whenever we had assignments. I made no effort whatsoever in learning the steps, all I cared about was the end results and not getting punished by my father or shamed by my teachers. My crush did not live very far away from me. I would ask my mothers permission to go to my girlfriend’s house, who also happened lived nearby for a study session. She was also academically challenged (birds of a feather). So, my mother had no reservations allowing me to go. Instead, I would end up at my crush’s place to “study”. In all honesty we did attempt the whole tutoring thing, but the teenage hormones would not let us be great (Story for another day).

I longed for the recognition that came with the A’s and B’s but sadly C’s were my portion.
As it turns out, I was not academically challenged as the teachers classified the C and D materials. I was but a later bloomer who peaked later on in life in everything. In college, my friends relished pairing with me for group projects as they could always rely on me to get the job done. Also, I was not afraid of public speaking, which was a plus for my extremely introverted can’t form coherent sentences in front a crowd mates. I attended almost all my classes, sat for all my exams, and did all my assignments on time. Unlike middle school and junior high, my portions in college were A’s and B’s a few C’s that crept in out of FOMO, (fear of missing out.) Overall, I was an all-rounded student with exceptional performance. Well, other than that one time in my first year of college that I was a bit too excited and overwhelmed by being an adult on my own far away from home that I flanked a class. A communications class to be exact, I was so embarrassed and disappointed in myself. And the fact that I had to retake the class did not make it any better. It was one of the easiest classes I was taking that semester yet I managed to get myself a solid D! My parents were paying for college and expected to view my transcripts as soon as they were out until I graduated. My dad never wrapped his head around how I got a D in something I was so good at. Communications!